Well, I guess my hunch was right. Everyone seems to love celebrity stories. The last post was my most-liked yet by a long shot. So as promised, here’s part 2…
Lou Reed - music legend. Lou Reed was signed to the Warner label for many years. Me too. And for a while, our times on the label overlapped. In 2003, I was visiting Toronto and the president of Warner Canada invited me to see Lou Reed perform at Massey Hall. It was an incredible show. When it was over, I thanked the prez for the tickets and he said, “do you want to meet Lou?” I said no because a few years before, I read the book Please Kill Me, which is an oral history of punk (great, great book) and the stories about Lou scared me. He had a reputation for being mean. But the president talked me into it and backstage we went. When I walked into his dressing room, Lou was sitting on a couch, wearing a big cardigan sweater (which he wasn’t wearing on stage) and eating a plate of spaghetti. There were maybe ten people in the room and everyone was vying for his attention. I got the sense that he just wanted to eat his spaghetti in peace. After standing around awkwardly for a few minutes, shouted across the room to the president and said, “hey, Steve, I’m out of here”. I turned to walk away and Lou said, “Yo, Richie. Hold on a minute.”. He reached into a cardboard box at the end of the couch and pulled out a book. It was a collection of his lyrics. He autographed it, handed it to me and said, “thanks for coming out”. It was a small kindness but it felt monumental. I’ll cherish that book as long as I live.
Patti Smith - punk pioneer. I was sitting at my desk at work one day and I heard a voice behind me say, “Excuse me. Could you tell me where the bathroom is?” I turned around and it was Patti friggin’ Smith! Holy shit. I said, “I’d be happy to show you the way.” And so we walked. I told her how much I enjoyed the book Woolgathering, which I had finished reading just a few days before. She seemed flattered by that. 20 seconds later, we arrived at the bathroom and parted ways. It was 20 of the most exciting seconds of my life. She was very nice and I was completely in awe.
I’ve met lots of punk icons through the years - mostly due to lucky timing. I met Iggy Pop. I ate lunch with the guys from Television once (backstage at Glastonbury). I crossed paths with Dee Dee Ramone a couple of times. I met Mick Jones and Topper Headon from the Clash . They were at the 100 Club in London when I showed up for soundcheck before a gig. They had been there for a book event earlier that afternoon. I met David Johansen. Wayne Cramer. It’s weird. I’ve met more punk pioneers than hip hop pioneers.
Kelsey Grammer - Frasier. For a few months, he stayed at the hotel where I worked in Halifax. He walked past where I was stationed every day and I guess I became a familiar-enough face that he’d smile and wave most times. He has bad knees or bad feet or something. When he walks, it looks painful for him. After noticing that, I started watching for it whenever I’d see him walking on TV. You don’t see it often but when you do, you can see that he hobbles a bit. The girlfriend of a good friend of mine is going to be playing a regular role on the Frasier re-boot that’s coming soon. I’ve been told he’s a very sweet, kind person.
Yoko Ono/Sean Lennon - musicians. My friend Vincent Gallo curated the All Tomorrow’s Parties festival in 2005 and invited me to play. One night that weekend, I was palling around with Vincent and he said, “hey, you should meet Yoko Ono.” So he took me to the chalet-thing where she was staying and introduced us. Vincent’s introduction was very flattering. I shook Yoko Ono’s hand and we chatted for a few moments. Later that night, I was sitting on a bench with Sean Lennon and he said to me one of the weirdest and saddest things I’ve ever heard. It was very personal, so I wouldn’t feel right sharing it. I’ll never forget it though.
Guy Lafleur - hockey legend. One of the weirder gigs I ever played was the time I was hired to perform at the NHL awards. I met a lot of star hockey players that night but I’m not a huge hockey fan so it didn’t mean a whole lot to me. But at the end of the night, I ended up in an elevator with Guy Lafleur. Just me and Guy! Not much was said between us but I appreciated that I was close enough to smell one of the all-time greats. He smelled good.
Kim Cattrall - actor. After Lou Reed passed away, I was invited to play a tribute show in Toronto. It was pretty cool because I was backed up by his band. There were lots of famous people there - friends of Lou and whatnot. Backstage before the show, I met Kim Cattrall, who was a close friend of Lou’s. It was very embarrassing because I had a nervous sweat going and I smelled bad. I stunk. You know how nervous sweat stinks? I’m sure Kim Cattrall could smell my stink. That was rough. She looked great. I also met the astronaut Chris Hadfield that night. He and I chatted for a long time at one point. I asked him questions about space and stuff. He probably smelled my stink too.
Peter Beard - photographer. In Paris, there’s Taschen book shop on Rue de Buci. It’s just a few blocks from where I used to live. They had events for the launches of new books there from time to time. One night in 2006, I walked past the shop on my way somewhere and saw that there was an event happening for Peter Beard. The shop was packed with people. I thought to myself, ‘that’s cool, I love Peter Beard’. I’ve always been a big fan. I kept walking. Later that night, when I was returning home, I passed the shop again but now, it was mostly empty. I decided to pop in, hoping to see some nice prints of his photos or whatever and lo’ and behold, there was Peter Beard standing at the back of the shop all by himself. I walked right up and introduced myself and shook his hand. I half-expected him to be rude and snobby because he came from such a highfalutin world but he was completely down-to-earth and easy to talk to. We chatted for about five minutes! He was a very, very handsome man. He lived the most interesting life. I’m glad to have met him and I was sad when I heard the news that he passed away in 2020.
Warren Ellis - musician. I don’t know how the hell or why this happened but his band Dirty Three opened for me somewhere in France years ago (I forget where exactly now). His performance scared the living shit out of me. He seemed like a total wildman. I avoided the chance to meet him that night and the next morning because I was so freaked out. I kinda regret it now because I know he was just performing. But I was thoroughly shook.
Roxane Mesquida - actor/model. Somewhere back around 2009 or 2010, I was contacted by a French filmmaker who wanted to make a music video for me - for free! Seemed like too good an offer to pass up. He asked if I could meet with him to discuss and so I did one of the most extravagant things I ever did in my life: I went to Paris (from Toronto) for a FEW HOURS! I flew over there, had the meeting and flew back home the same day. As I recall, I chose the meeting place - one of my favorite hangouts from the years I lived there: Le Danton on Blvd Saint-Germain. During that meeting, the film-maker-guy said that there was a good chance he could get Roxane Mesquida for the video because she is a friend of his partner. I WANTED to get excited because I am a big, big fan of Roxane’s but refused to let myself because the idea seemed so far-fetched. I told myself, ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’. But several weeks later, I showed up on set and there she was! I couldn’t believe my eyes. In the video (for “Paper Airplane”), I play a sailor and she plays my wife. We hit it off really well and became friends. We stayed in touch for a long time after that but I haven’t spoken to her in a while now. I keep meaning to drop her a line. You might not know who Roxane is but she’s very famous in France. She’s one of the most fearless actors ever, in my books. A few of her movies are downright harrowing. If you feel brave and you’ve never seen it, watch her movie Fat Girl. I just noticed that my name appears on Roxane’s Wikipedia page, which is a nice little feather in my cap.
Louis Garrel - actor. Speaking of French icons… Louis used to date my ex Claire’s sister, so I’d see him often. He was a little weird.
Beck - musician. I interviewed him back in 2008. Weird, weird, weird vibes.
Miley Cyrus - singer/songwriter. I used to stay frequently in a hotel in LA called the Beverly Laurel. On the ground floor of the hotel, there’s a popular diner called Swingers. Really good food. Fun vibe. It’s not uncommon to see famous people there. During one visit to LA, I met a guy named Dean Nelson who used to work as Beck’s studio engineer. We got together at his studio and threw some ideas against the wall. At the end of the night, he drove me back to the Beverly Laurel. When I got out of the car - right in front of the entrance for Swingers - the first thing I saw was a pair of very long legs growing out of some very short shorts. It was hard not to notice the legs. As I walked past, I glanced at the face of the person who owned the legs. It didn’t register at first but I did a double-take and saw that it was Miley Cyrus. I said hi and she said hi and that was it. Taller than you’d think. Longggg legs. By the way - Dean Nelson later recorded the Neverlove album.
During a different stay at the Beverly Laurel, I was eating breakfast in Swingers one morning when Common walked in. I said, “Hey, man. Thanks for Resurrection”. He looked me in the eyes and in a very warm and genuine way, he said, “thank you, brother”. He gave off a very positive, likable vibe.
Biz Markie - hip hop legend. I recorded with Biz in 1998. Hung out with him for two or three days. It was probably the most and hardest I’ve laughed in my entire life. He was so, so funny. He had a million jokes. He also told incredible hip hop stories - mind-blowing stuff that’s never been revealed. I think about the stuff he said often. While we were hanging out, he received a phone call with news that A Tribe Called Quest had broken up while they were on tour with the Beastie Boys. He was asked if he could open for them in Toronto the next day. He said yes and I rolled as part of his entourage. Funnest day ever.
Joannie Rochette - figure skater. She was one of the top figure skaters in the world in the late 2000s/early 2010s. I was seated next to her on a flight once. I was never so happy to have the middle seat in my life. She had the window seat. Partway through the flight, she said she needed to get up to use the bathroom but there was a problem. The person sitting in the aisle seat was asleep and she didn’t want to wake that person up. So she decided to shimmy out. As she did, her entire butt rubbed across my face. Normally, you’d be very annoyed or revolted if something like that happened but in this case, I wasn’t.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman - actor. I used to live in a building at 416 Lafayette Street in Manhattan, which is directly across the street from the Public Theater NYC. This was back in 2004 or so. For several weeks at one point, Phillip Seymour Hoffman was working across the street at the theater. Pretty much every day, I’d see him outside going over a script while he smoked cigarettes. It was such a regular thing that we’d say “hey man” to each other when I walked by. He had nice smiley eyes.
Karl Lagerfeld - fashion designer. Back in 2002 (maybe 2003) during the hustle and bustle of Christmastime, I literally collided with him on the busy sidewalk of Blvd Raspail in Paris. It was quite violent and he seemed annoyed. I felt bad.
Grace Jones - musician. This isn’t much of a story. She and I played the same music festival in Scotland years ago. The artists all stayed in the same hotel. I saw her in the lobby one morning and was shocked by how short she was. She’s not unusually short but somehow I expected her to be 7 feet tall. I’m guessing she’s about 5’6” or so.
Rihanna - singer. Back in 2005, the video for my song “Devil’s Eyes” won a Much Music Video Award (Much Music is basically Canadian MTV). There was a party/ceremony-thing for the awards and Rihanna was there. She might have performed. I can’t remember. But she was there. I walked past her in an otherwise empty hallway at one point. We smiled and said hello to each other. She was wearing a green dress. This was before the advent of her ‘Bad Girl Riri’ persona. She seemed very sweet. And - holy mackerel - beautiful. Geez.
Joaquin Phoenix - actor. In 2005, the movie Walk The Line premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival. I was lucky enough to attend because I was hired to perform at the party after the screening. When I performed, Joaquin Phoenix (who stars in the movie) came right up front to watch. A few weeks later, he reached out to me with questions and a request for me to make beats for him. Not long after that, he went into that weird hoax-thing where he said he was quitting acting to become a rapper. Remember that? I’ve wondered if I had anything to do with planting the seed for that whole episode.
I’m about to reach my length limit here again, so I’ll wrap this up. I’ll save stories about PJ Harvey, Asia Argento, Aziz Ansari, Helmut Lang, Claire Danes, Jack White, Erykah Badu, TJ Miller, Glenn Beck and Jimmy Castor for another day.
It’s super-weird for me looking back on a lot of these stories. My old life - when I was signed to a major label and attending big festivals and events - seems like it was a million years ago or like a movie I watched once. It’s hard to reconcile that the person who lived all of those adventures and misadventures was me. It’s all interesting in a sense but none of it means all that much to me now. As I said here before, I regret ever going down the path that started with signing the deal with Warner. That life wasn’t for me. I guess that’s why it feels so strange to me now that I’ve found my way back to myself.
Hey, by the way, we still haven’t quite reached 1000 subscribers yet. We’re very close. So if you’re reading this but you haven’t subscribed, please consider doing so. Like I said last time, we’ll celebrate with something fun. And I’m considering opening up some new doors once we cross that threshold.
In upcoming posts, I think I’ll share some other stories from the surreal years. For the next one, I think I’ll tell the story of the trip I made to New Orleans right after Hurricane Katrina. It’s a doozy. Until then.